L: A Final Note
by XxBeccixX
Summary: Kira has beaten L. And Raito had conquered Lawliet." This is a very short, very depressing little story. It's based on my own views about how Kira finally beat L from the perspective of the beloved detective himself. LxLight


**Author's Note:** This is a very short, very depressing little story. It's based on my own views about how Kira finally beat L from the perspective of the beloved detective himself. There is no descriptive sex, though it is mentioned (this is, after all, one of my fics ^^), the pairing is, of course LxLight/Kira. It was done in about half an hour and used as a distraction and an outlet. I hope you enjoy it. Reviews and comments keep me happy.

Warnings:

Mentions of sex/violence.  
L's real name is used.

* * *

**L : A Final Note**

Kira won in the end.

I know you all know the story; our fight has been in the headlines for months, almost a year. It only seems fair that we have been locked in each other's embrace just as we have been locked in this deadly game of cat and mouse.

Still we play cat and mouse. Never ending; each time we come together it is always a battle for dominance, a battle I always lose. Every time we look at each other I can see it in his eyes.

Kira.

And part of me wonders. Was I always heading for this moment?

Has every case I solved been bringing me closer to this final moment? Was Beyond Birthday right about me? Perhaps I am my own downfall…Or is it Kira?

Kira.

I can hear the bells tolling for me in the distance.

I told Raito that, but he didn't seem to understand. The bells are counting down my time left, like a Shinigami hanging over me, a Grim Reaper with an hourglass in his hand; my own personal demons. I would be lying if I said I wasn't afraid. I don't want to die, it is the one uncertainty in my life, the one thing that I cannot deduce or change or face. Death is an ending. And death is a beginning.

Kira.

Watari always did tell me that my obsession with sugar and sweets would kill me one day. It's a shame that he didn't warn me about my second, far more deadly, addiction; that would have kept me safe. I would never have shown my face; least of all to _him_.

Kira.

I wonder what the children will do when I'm gone…I haven't chosen between Mello or Near yet. I had hoped that I would have been able to get them to work together before I died, but it seems I have failed in that aspect as well…Now I think about it, there are many things that I haven't finished, things I took for granted.

Kira has beaten L.

And Raito had conquered Lawliet.

I can't imagine a life without him. I know he doesn't care, that I am a way to a means, but when I lie beside him at night and watch him sleeping, I find my breathing synchronizing with his. I belong to him now. And if that breath were to suddenly stop I'm sure my breath would too. And when he is above me, our bodies crushed together, moans mingling, hands entwined, brutal thrusts, animal instinct, love and lust and pain…I feel his heart pounding with mine. He has my heart, my breath…And my mind, the one thing I prized above all else.

Kira.

It would be better for me to go, if I step aside then Near, or Mello, or maybe even Matt will be able to do what I cannot. But…I can't kill him, I can't send him to his death; it would kill me…So I'll let him live on. I'll let him have this world. And I'll let him kill me.

Kira. Raito.

There is no difference now, they are the same. I know no one will read this, I will not let them; it would condemn Raito to death if anyone were to find this. You can call these the final words of a man who knows his death is imminent. The ramblings of a man already dead to the world, who never learnt to live. It's ironic how the only man who ever made me feel alive is the one to finally end my life. I have never loved anything in my life; so is that what you call the dull ache inside my heart? If love is pain, and lust and desire and knowing that you would never be able to harm the other, then yes, I love Raito…All of Raito. Even Kira.

Kira.

I won't live to see tomorrow. The bells are getting louder. The children, Watari, the case…It is all pointless. There is only one person I can think of. Raito. Kira.

I am beaten. And I feel strangely free for it. There is only one thing I would have liked before I died, and that is an 'I love you' in return. But it cannot be helped now.

I, L Lawliet, love you Yagami Raito, Kira. And I offer up my own life, so that maybe you can live.


End file.
